Questions For Christian Dating Couples
How soon is too soon for a Christian to marry?
I’ve been dating a guy from my church for almost a month now. (We knew each other for a couple years before dating). We get along great, we enjoy doing the same things, we share the same hopes and dreams…We both hold successful jobs and no debt. We get along great with each other’s families. Every one at church comments about how we are perfect for each other. We have both pledged to God to remain virgins until we marry. We are beginning to talk about marriage and maybe how we should get married very soon since we feel in our spirits that we are right for each other and God put us together.
What is your opinion? Is getting married after just a month or two too soon? Remember, this is a born-again Christian and virgin asking this question!
Give it a year. In the first few months of a dating relationship, both people are on their best behavior and there is a lot of excitement about the newness. Also, during this time the brain creates chemicals that make you happy, so you may be experiencing that euphoria as well. Waiting a year usually allows time for people’s habits and true selves to shine through while allowing time for the chemicals in the brain to get back to “normal.” Since the two of you have committed to being virgins until marriage, make sure that you are not wanting to get married to fulfill lustful desires.
When someone says “I do,” their role in the relationship changes and believe it or not, their perspective of the relationship and demands often change with it. You need to be aware of this.
Having no debt definitely helps, since the #1 cause of divorce in America is money fights and money problems. However, make sure that you take time to invest in good pre-marriage counseling and discuss finances before you get married. You may want to sit down and make out a couple of budgets together to see where each of you stands on your priorities with money. During the pre-marriage counseling or even your marriage discussions with each other, make sure to address the other top causes of marriage issues: in-laws, children, religion.
I waited a year to propose to my wife and then it was another 7 months before the wedding. We have been married 12 years, so I like to think I speak from experience.
1000 Questions for couples!
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